Updated: Aug 7, 2019
BY KAMRON TAYLOR Jul 25 Original Post
Let’s spend some time talking about an issue that has seemed to come up a lot in conversations in The Thrive Tribe (and if you’re unfamiliar with the Thrive Tribe, it’s our Facebook community for the podcast where we continue the conversations and talk about subjects online. You can request to join at therapyforblackgirls.com/tribe. And make sure to answer the three questions it asks when you request to join. But there have been a lot of conversations about women not feeling like they are where they thought they would be in their life or feeling as though it’s too late to pursue dreams they may have once had. If this sounds like you or something you struggle with, there are three questions I’d like you to ask yourself:
If you have this story that you are desperately holding onto, I want you to ask yourself, is this really my story or is this a story I’ve convinced myself of because of society and others in my life? The most common thing that comes up when I hear people say they’re not where they thought they would be is the idea of being partnered or married, having a baby and an awesome career all by the age of 25. Do you know how many of us were an absolute mess at age 25? When I think back to my younger self, I wanted to have all of this by the age of 23 (I guess I was an overachiever with my fantasies) but when I look back on my early to mid and even late 20s, I was not at all in a place where any of those things would have been, healthy, satisfying or fulfilling to me. And it makes me wonder where did I even get the idea that that’s what my life should have looked like then. And I ask you that same question. Where did this story come from? Did you read a feature on the gorgeous 22-year-old who built an app that has made her a millionaire? Or maybe you ran across the most beautiful engagement pictures of a sister on Instagram. Or maybe even though you’re finishing up your Master’s degree and on your way to an amazing job, the only thing grandma asks about is when you’re gonna have some babies! There’s nothing wrong with wanting any of this. It’s totally ok if you do, but please be cautious about thinking you’re any less worthy, beautiful, or relevant bc these things have not happened for you yet. And please please please, sit with yourself to discover whether these are actually things you want.